hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
