I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
