the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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