I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
