I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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