She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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