so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
