oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
