Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
