remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
