hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
