you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is it because I queefed?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
