The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
