OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize