Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
