Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
