I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
