I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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