He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
