she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Found the puke drawer
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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