i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
