I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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