youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
