your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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