Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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