You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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