where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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