Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
