You work out of a Hotel?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
