Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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