Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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