with your own penis?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
