On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
