Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
