You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
