I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
