This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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