oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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