Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
