Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
