the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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