But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
