I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He passed out mid-signature
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
