I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
