Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
