very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
