stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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