I cannot find my penis.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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