Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
