WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We were destined to go to rehab together
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
