Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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