I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
