i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
